So since it took me 45 minutes to get to work this morning (accident and I live 2.5 miles away) I’m going to start off the day with a few Fuck You’s to everyone who needs to hear it.
Fuck You, New England Patriots Fans. No more of this 19-0 bullshit. No more perfect season. No more golden boy coming through in the clutch. Fuck you New England Patriots Fans.
Fuck You, pundits who try to say that the Patriots are a classy bunch of players. They’re cheaters. They’re performance enhancing pricks. They are not doing the world a great service by losing and sending their championship paraphernalia to different countries. Every team does that. Do not defend this team, they lost. Fuck you pundits who try to say that the Patriots are a classy bunch of players.
Fuck You, people who get hard for politics. Super Tuesday will never be better than the Super Bowl. I don’t get a half a second to revel in the Giants victory before all of this political bullshit gets shoved right down my throat. Fuck you people who get hard for politics.
Fuck You, Boston Herald. 19-0? You cocky sons of bitches. I hope that makes good tinder somewhere. Fuck You, Boston Herald.
Finally, Fuck You, Bill Simmons. Just because, you try to take the high road, when you knew when that clock struck zero all you were thinking was "Awww, fawk da Pats, Go Sawks!" just like every other Bostonian. This is because you can't pick games better than your wife. This is because you knew you had a championship article written like the Boston Herald had a book deal. Fuck you Bill Simmons.
It’s been a little over 15 hours since Eli and the mighty New York Football Giants ended the Patriots string of consecutive wins. I cannot be happier at this moment in my football watching history.
On draft day four years ago, when the Giants made a seemingly impossible trade, giving up Phillip Rivers for an unpolished member of football’s royal family, NY had high expectations that this risk would yield a huge reward. At this point, it was seen by many as the most undeserved coup in history. An SEC quarterback with “ok” stats, when you could get another QB who’s just as qualified? And at least you don’t have to give up another pick. This seemed ludicrous, but the G-men's front office knew what it wanted. This didn’t really matter early on though. Eli struggled through his first season, and NY and other media services jumped on his back to bring him down, as he didn’t make the playoffs his first year. The Giants had looked promising behind Kurt Warner, yet put Eli in half way through to allow for "growing pains". To put salt in the wound, the draft pick they surrendered for Eli turned out being Shawne Merriman, who has proven himself as a perennial Pro-Bowler/ steroid user / freak. Eli continued to progress, despite claims of inconsistency. The media continued to put him down as "Peyton's lil bro" and placed him as one who would never reach elite status. The media outlets touted him as trade bait this off-season due to inconsistency and used him as a scapegoat for Tom Coughlin's lack of success in NY. This year, Eli finally started to come into his own. Some struggles, but overall he looked like he had finally developed into the QB they had expected...most of the time. Finally last night, after 3 great playoff games before, Eli reached the top of the football pyramid as the MVP of the Super Bowl Champion NY Football Giants. So to the NY Giants, Eli, Strahan, et al, Congratulations, you deserved it.
On the other side of the field, everyone is trying to figure out what happened. Some have speculated that Spagnuolo (Giants Defensive Coordinator) had several different sets of signals that the Pats couldn’t steal, thus resulting in Belicheats inability to coach around the Giants’ defense. Others simply say the Pats just peaked too early. They had an unconvincing win against a battered Chargers team 2 weeks ago. They barely won against the Ravens and Eagles. Maybe they just couldn’t sustain being that motivated for that long? My theory is that Brady is hurt. He pulled out of the Pro Bowl today. He couldn’t throw the long ball accurately last night for shit(save the one on 3 & 20 that the Giant’s defended). He looked rattled and uncomfortable. He took his licks. There was a period of time where the Pats ran the ball at least 7 plays consecutively. I know the G-Men's D was great. That is a factor. But some of Brady's throws looked like there was a complete lack of communication or Brady just couldn't throw it the way he's used to. I'm picking the latter, and if anyone has a better idea of why he was so inaccurate and inconsistent last night, please let me know.
That being said, Eli Manning is the Super Bowl MVP. The Patriots go 18-1, tying the records of the 1984 49ers and 1985 Chicago Bears (both of whom won the Superbowl btw). I am jubilant to have a championship team in New York again. However, it was a Pyrrhic victory for me this weekend. The gambling site I use crashed as I was placing my bets, so none were entered. I called ¾ picks in my last post (which 20 dollars would have won you 68) and had so much more to bet, that would have won. Alas, I will walk away from the Super Bowl happy with a Giants win, and happy with the 50$ I won, that I had placed on them to win right after they beat the Packers. Bittersweet, almost.
So the New York Football Giants are going to the Super Bowl
Since the beginning of the NFL Playoffs, I have followed the New York Football Giants (NYFG, not to be confused with the NYPD or the NYFD, which you may know from others sources) in their quest to finally get past the first round. It just happened to be that the day of their first playoff quest was the last day of the trip, when Chiggy departed to Cali. However, he did meet the first GUY in my 3 part NFL Playoffs (Playoffs?) , you know that guy series.
Drunken New York Giants Fan (Queens Edition, DNYFG-Q)
You know that guy..... this is the type of guy that I have met at the local bar before while he was on a date during the last week of regular season baseball. He then proceeds to leave his date for half an hour. When he returns, I offer him some left over wings, which he shares with his date and high-fives me. this is the type of guy that arrives at the local bar wearing his NYFG t-shirt early for the NYFG vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Wild Card Round Game . By early, he was standing outside for the bar owner to come open it up. this is the type of guy that approaches a group of young people at the bar. These young people composed of 3 girls and 3 guys. He then asks which team they support, although they are wearing NYFG jerseys. this is the guy that starts hitting on one of the girls until he asks if she is dating one of the guys with her, to which she replies yes.
this is the guy that moves around the bar looking for the real “Giants” fans
this is the guy that is a real catch-22 for bar owners…..he is annoying as fuck, yet he is the best customer
this is the guy that says, “Eli is not bad, he is my favorite player, especially when he passes it to my favorite player ever Plaxico Buress, but he can only do that when he gets protection from my favorite players, the O-Line, who can protect Eli, my favorite player, when the running game has been established by Brandon Jacobs, my favorite player”.
this is the guy that emphasizes the PASS GAME of the New York Giants (however, he ended up being a prophet when ELI threw his first td pass to……..
this is the guy that whenever Amani Tommer (# 81 for the NYFG) touches the football screams out “IT IS NOT A TUMOR” like displayed below
you know that guy.
NYFG 24- Tampa Bay 14
Angry Dallas Cowboys Fan (ADCF) You know that guy. this is the guy that lives in NY and grew up in the area, yet his a Cowboys fan because of the early 1990s this is the guy that comes to a bar dominated by NYFG fans with his die-hard NYFG girlfriend this is the guy that guy that is annoying everyone by cheering overtly loudly at Cowboys plays before they are actually successful this is the guy that when gummy smiled jackass (thanks Senator) threw that last interception just like he threw up on Yoko Romo’s parents that Saturday morning after he had that one too many Margaritas on Friday, left the bar and refused to go back in this is the guy that would not re-enter the bar and had to wait outside in the cold until his girlfriend finished her last shot because of the NYFG victory
You know this guy....
NYFG 21 – Dallas Cowboys 17
Drunken New York Giants Fan (Manhattan Edition, DNYFG-M) you know that guy this is the guy that comes in with his friends after the NYFG victory over the Green Bay Packers with two of his buddies
this is the guy that finds the youngest people playing beer pong and oddly stands next to them this is the guy that …LETS GO….BIG BLUE….LETS GO….BIG BLUE…..X45 this is the guy that angrily reacted when someone took their beer pong shot instead of yelling back, BIG BLUE this is the guy then became one of my closest friends ever this is the guy that leaves to buy the group beers, which he does. He is old…He has a job this is the guy that in the process of buying beers, finds the bartender attractive and proceeds to take off his shirt this is the guy that after taking off his shirt, gets on the bar and performs a semi-strip tease for the attractice bartender
LETS GO….BIG BLUE….LETS GO….BIG BLUE you know this guy....
NYFG 23- Green Bay Packers 20
On a sidenote, I learned today in my Civil Procedure Class that the "know this guy" column is considered in some jurisdictions a possible intentional tort based on libel that could create legal problems for me.
As for Eli's transformation. I believe it is his care-free attitude. Also, word on the Streets of New York is that a certain Dalai Lama provided Eli with the following video...
Eli ignored the losers and brought his determination, A-game and drive to the field and success has followed him.
Ok so amid the nonstop stories about how crazy Britney Spears is and how Amy Winehouse finally went to rehab, recent tabloid reports have infiltrated ESPN even (God, say it ain’t so?!) to discuss the Tony Romo and Yoko Romo, sorry, Jessica Simpson relationship scandal. I’m paraphrasing ESPN last night on Sportscenter when they say they have obtained information (from OK! Magazine no less, a fine reputable periodical!) that Tony Romo tried to dump Daisy Duke last week. However, Jessica either did not follow the basic concepts he was trying to relay to her, or just refused to be dumped by this gummy smiled jackass. So in order to try and drive her away, Tony decided to take her on a hunting trip, to make her feel awkward and unwanted. This failed miserably, like his playoff record, and she and he are still dating…sort of. Basically there has been no resolution to the issue and Jessica is just pissed off that people could report that: A) she’d been dumped (by Tony Romo, no less) and B) people would print such things. Now, this all being said, I could care less what happens to the couple. I retain the last lingering amount of respect for Tony Romo only because he had the audacity to "hit it and quit it" with good ole’ Chicken of the Sea herself, but he can’t even do that right, so fuck him.
Moving on from one pretty boy QB to another…
Tom Brady was seen wearing a boot on his right foot this week, causing a media clusterfuck to report that he might not play, he’s more hurt than Belicheat is letting on, and other ridiculous nonsense not pertaining to anything really valuable. These reports were then nullified by interviews with Brady and his father with the two stating that virtually nothing could keep him from the game and that the boot was merely precautionary. Moreover he was seen later that night sans walking cast. However, today’s news reports that Brady has been absent from any media coverage at practice. This could mean something awful! Maybe he really is hurt! Maybe Belichick is hiding something! Or (and this is directed to any asshole believes anything in the past 3 sentences could actually be true) maybe the Patriots are all just full of shit. Tom Brady has been “Probable” or "Questionable" for the last 55 games, and he’s played in every last one. I wouldn’t be surprised if the boot and this entire media storm is just to fuck with the Giants' planning (though I don’t see how). Anyways, I don’t really care about Tom Brady. I think it will take more than him to win the Super Bowl, especially with the way he played last week.
That being said, I hate that football has been tainted by this tabloid nonsense. On the plus side though, I do not apologize for getting to use the gratuitous pictures of Jessica Simpson.
You know that guy..... this is the type of guy that invites two of his friends to his house in Miami, FL in order to do a road trip through the C.S.A., into DC, past the Mason-Dixon into the City of Brotherly Love and finally reaching Gotham. this is the type of guy that decides it would be a good idea to live the dream. this is the type of guy that wanders the streets of Philadelphia. this is the guy that promises a blog post and delivers it 3 weeks later. this is the guy that sucks it up at Law School, all day, every day. you know that guy.
As Chiggy wrote earlier, we embarked on the Trip. On this Trip, we met some other guys....yea, those guys that you know. There were even some gals too. Since I am in Constitutional Law Class, I will give a quick run down of quotes and actions of those guys (Miami Edition)...that we all know.
Fake Angry Guy (F.A.G.) You know that guy. this is the guy that considers himself rugged yet wears that witty t-shirt that his mom bought him at "Hot Topic" for his last birthday because she heard that the t-shirt is what F.A.G.s like her son wear this is the guy that plays beer pong (Beirut) at Barracuda's in Coconut Grove, Flawdah on the weekends. However, he does not realize he is perhaps the worst BP player to have two balls in his hands (ping pong balls) this is the guy that when he misses a shot at BP, angrily screams FUCK, and punches the wall at a bar upset. This occurs every time he misses, which is every time he tries this is the guy that 3 nano-seconds after the above act, shares laughter with his opponents and maybe even shares a "moment" with them. He follows this up by trying to flirt with average girls around him by pointing to his witty shirt. this is the guy that enters a verbal altercation to the old dude at the bar and then, he gives him the finger when he sees him walking outside. because he is such a badass and he is a F.A.G. You know this guy....
Real Angry Guy (R.A.G.) you know that guy this is the guy that is fat yet wears a wife beater to the bar, transforming the wife beater to a bra this is the guy that is all tatteed up, yet none of his tattoos make sense this is the guy that his friends abandon by going to another part of the bar this is the guy that screams in random people's ear when the ping pong ball hits the ground this is the guy that speaks in a neolithic dialect which resembles a pre-civilized version of Quechua, the Incan language this is the guy that when I am setting up my BP game, starts chugging from my pitcher, causing a possible confrontation this is the guy that gets angry when i take my own pitcher back this is the guy that became my best friend when i offered him a cup of beer this is the guy that said he would unconditionally have my back for the rest of my life because of this beer you know this guy....
Austin "Double Deuce" See 09/25- 'All About the Double Deuce" Also, my ankles suck.
Chigozie "Chiggy" Hi, my name is Chiggy (I have been referred to as “Chocolate Face” in this blog, and that’s not because I am brown but instead because everyone is always trying to lick my face). I was born in PA, raised in Cali but am 100% Nigerian. On another note, I was born into Nigerian Royalty and have inherited a substantial amount of wealth through the passing of a distant relative, please contact me if you would like to help bring this money into the US. All I need is your name, address and bank account information.
Noe "The Prolific" I am not cool enough to have my own posting. I live in Queens, was raised in Miami and Colombia but I am a native Philadelphian.
Joey-"The Senator"I met Chiggy when the Prolific came to visit, and I was just that darned charming he asked me to write for the blog. I was born in NY and am currently working in our fine nation's Capital / most average sports city in the country. I get to be the de facto political analyst because I'm kinda in that neck'o'tha'woods. I will be the Theo Epstein of Hockey
