NFL Picks Week 3

Based on my overall record I can see betting on football takes a little more than the 5 minutes I give this article between FRs. You would think this would lead me to spend more time writing this article and actually do more research on the games. NOPE. I will not win you any money until the readers (I think we might have about 10 outside of me and Noe) demand it. At that point I will take the time, put in the grueling work and throw in my super duper secret betting technique to vastly improve your chances at making money.



Without further adieu



Colts -6
Packers+5
Minn+2.5
Lions +6.5
Bills +16.5
Jets+3
Pitt-9
Raven-8
Ram+3.5
Denver -3
Seahawks -3
Cleveland +3
Carolina -4
Washington -4
Dallas +3
Tenn+4.5

Update:
Week 3: 7-7-2
Season: 19-24-3

Lindsey Lohan

Yesterday I met the ugly side of my past and it got me thinking. The concept of an evil twin seems vastly outdated. I actually think a truer concept would be the idea of an ugly twin. Somewhere out there must be a twin version of me (and everyone else as well) and this must occur in both personalities and looks.

I believe that everyone probably has an ugly version of themselves (well unless you are the ugly version) and yesterday I met the ugly version of a college associate and it was strange. People constantly tell me that I look exactly like someone they know. I wonder if I am the ugly twin.

War Pregnant Women

Are women funny? I don’t know, I have actually never met a girl who could consistently make me laugh (barring the Sports Gal and she only write about once a month) but I have to assume there is someone out there who can deliver humorous quips on a regular basis. If so could you introduce her to me? I would like to get rid of this archaic stereotype*. Who knows maybe I am right and women can’t be funny, what do you guys think?

*Chigozism: Women aren’t funny

NFL Running Backs= Role Models

The juice! Everything about OJ is amazing to me. I mean this guy got over with double murder and now he's attempting armed robbery to get his stuff back? Who wouldn't be intimidated by a known (allegedly) double murderer. Do you really think OJ needed a gun to threaten someone? If the juice came up to me angry I would give him my wallet, social security number, 401K, watch, car keys, gf; basically anything he asked for. Anything to keep him from getting over on me.
And while I know the Juice lives by the adage, "Whatever happens in Brentwood, Stays in Brentwood" he's OJ freaking Simpson. At some point the common sense police needs to step in and explain to him that he can't keep getting out of felonies. These ppl (the other ppl courtesy of Trick Daddy) are really out to get him. A little piece of advice Juice, you really shouldn't be running stop signs in public much less breaking and entering (oops) into random places, getting angry and threatening anyone other than maybe another felon.

Rarely do I get inspired but Travis Henry has inspired me this week. A story came out that Travis Henry has beaten Shawn Kemp's record for illegitimate children. Henry has 9 different children from 9 different women in four different states.

Chigozie (and Noe) will attempt to one-up Mr. Henry.

My Goal: To have a Chigozie Jr. (The girls will be named Chigozina) in every race. Currently I am planning on having a Nigerian Chigozie, Jewish Chigozie, Indian Chigozie, Spanish Chigozie, Native American Chigozie and an Asian Chigozie. I want to be able to taste the rainbow and witness every flavor. Not the women mind you but the children. An Asian version of me would be very amusing to me. Would he have squinty eyes or be smarter than the rest? Would Jewish Chigozie (just like his father) be frugal? What would these kids look like?

What is a Charlie Bell?

Apparently the Heat chose to spend 18MM dollars on something called a Charlie Bell. Ive heard it plays basketball. This doesn't make sense to me because as an avid basketball player and respected fantasy player (Balls Bitches and more Balls: Champ! Steaks and Shakes: 3rd sigh Darko) I have never really heard much about it except that allegedly this Charlie Bell thing has a blog.

At least it's not about the money and it's looking to win another championship.

Greg Oden ("GO")

He writes a blog. excerpts from his work:

(In regards to Josh McRoberts) He was here for a day so I got to hang out with him. It was one of the greatest days. Him and a couple of his friends and I laid out at his pool, played horse in the pool, stayed in too long, hands got wrinkled and when we got tired of being in the pool his mom came and grilled some hamburgers and teriyaki chicken with macaroni salad and cookies. It was the BOMB!