So I guess we might be a sports blog

Did y'all see, did y’all see that we got Pau Gasol? Did anybody see that? Did you see the move Mitch pulled off? Did anybody see what Mitch pulled off for the Los Angeles Lakers? Did anybody see what he did? We got Pau Gasol, so now we have a beast to throw the ball down to. They’re scared now, Yeah! We've got help now! We've got help now! We’ve got Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum. Whatsup! Talk to me! I aint even got to tell you, you already know, Andrew Bynum on one side. Then you got a left hand southpaw switch it up, you think he’s shooting left but he’s actually shooting right.

Wait, a second why does that seem strangely failure. Everything about today seems like déjà. A huge trade, a (borderline) all-star was traded for pennies on the dollar. Everyone has heralded the trade as a steal. Nothing of “substance” was given up for a substantial upgrade in talent. Parades are already been planned in LA as the Laker roster is now seen as one of the best in the league. Personally this feels a lot like one of the numerous moves that Isaiah has been getting killed for making in New York.

(Alleged) Upgrade in talent: Check
Trading away Financial Flexibility/ Expiring Contracts: Check
Trading Away young talent: Check
Trading away multiple first drafts picks: Check

(A quick note about the draft picks traded away, they traded away 2008 and 2010 draft picks because based on the collective bargaining agreement: you are not allowed to trade away consecutive first round draft picks. You should think about this rule as a safeguard against GM’s engaging in numerous Isaiah/ Mitch “genius” type trades.)

Henry Abbot of True Hoops notes that Gasol will be making $50MM over the next three years, and that the Lakers significantly limited their financial flexibility. (Good Bye Free Agent signings!) Instead of patterning their championship quest after the Spurs/ Trailblazers (good character guys, great drafting, and a little bit of luck) they decided to take the Boston/ Miami approach and try to create a championship out of thin air. While I know Mitch was under some pressure to build the team to win now, Kobe Bryant is not a general manager. His goals are not in line with the long term goals of the Laker organization.

Theoretically this trade could work out beautifully if Kobe is appeased by the moves, the Lakers (and Bynum) continue to develop as expected and they challenge and eventually win a championship (s) in the upcoming years. In this scenario the drafts picks that they lose are low first rounders and are thus less valuable.
Here’s my problem with this scenario

Kobe:

This trade only makes sense if it appeases Kobe. If not and he walks after next year, then LA mortgaged their future to appease a superstar that is no longer a part of their organization.

Gasol:

Is he an NBA player who can only put up numbers on a bad team? A stat monster? I would like to see Dave Berri of Wages of Win’s analysis of the trade.

Odom:

What should LA do with him? Doesn’t he replicate a lot of what Kobe and Gasol do best?

Bynum:

How will the arrival of Gasol affect Bynum’s development? What is the status of his injury?

Basically my final analysis of this trade is that it is way too early to tell how the Lakers did in this trade, but as a fan I am glad that Mitch made a move. Only time will tell if it was the right move, but at least the City of Angels has something its basketball team hasn’t had in a while. Hope.

Super Bowl

So if Hollywood is for attractive people and politics is the Hollywood for ugly people, what are sports the Hollywood of? Each of the former has their main event: The Academy Awards, the Elections. Yet still, neither of those rivals the yearly spectacle that is the Super Bowl. Nobody will pay 2.7million dollars for a 30 second spot for the Academy Awards. The only person I can think who’d spend that around an election is Mitt Romney (Ba-Zing!), but seriously this is a sports article today. In the years that Paul Tagliabue and Roger Goodell have been in charge of the NFL, football has displaced baseball as our modern “national pastime”. Nobody cares about the World Series anymore, yet on Sunday, millions, err billions, of viewers worldwide will unite in celebration of football…or to watch the commercials, but that’s a different pastime. This year is the pinnacle of the accomplishments of this league. Advertisements are costing an all-time high. The most viewers in the history of the world will be able to access the game. For those who care about the sport, a New England Patriots team will try to become the greatest team in the NFL completing the most perfect season in history. On the opposite side, a young Eli Manning, who has undoubtedly looked to be the sharpest quarterback in the NFL this offseason, is set to continue his family’s legacy of greatness following in his father, Archie, and brother, Peyton. Older brother Cooper lacks verifiable information, but may have been employee of the month at wherever he works for a significant time period. (way to go!) But enough of the surface detail…

The Patriots are the obvious favorite this weekend, yet lately they’ve proved to be vulnerable. They are banged up and on the news for it (see: Tom Brady’s foot/shoulder, Jabar Gaffney’s shoulder, et al). They’ve had difficulty stopping the run, as Chargers’ backup running backs, Michael Turner and Darren Sproles racked up almost 4.8 ypc. Yet despite this, they’ve been the most consistent team all year, and they are the best regular season team in the history of the sport. Their offense will be explosive, and pending a tragic accident, Tom Brady will play and lead this team. The Giants, however, are the hot team right now, and sometimes that’s all you need (see: 2006 Steelers, 2001 Ravens). They are banged up as well, missing valuable pieces Mathias Kiwanuka and perennial loudmouth, Jeremy Shockey, but their keys to success revolve around their ability to adapt to injuries. Kevin Boss has stepped up, in addition to rookie running back, Ahmad Bradshaw. Their defense has looked amazing, and they will use different schemes to rush Brady and get him unsettled. On offense, look for them to pound the ball against a Pats team that has done poorly against the run with Brandon Jacobs, and for a change of pace, they'll bring in Bradshaw. This should open up the pass game, especially young Eli’s play action. The Pats will need to find a way to stop the Giants’ run game and get to Eli. If they are able to give Brady some time, look for him to get the ball to Welker and Moss, much in the same way they abused a weaker Giants’ secondary in the last game. Since I am a gambling man, I will give you no predictions for the total outcome of the game. But as teasers…

Brady’s total completions Over 25 ½

Brady’s total TD’s Over 2 ½

Eli’s total TD’s Over 1 ½

Welker’s total REC over 7 ½

Giants +7 ½ …….for the first half…

That’s all I got. Happy Super Bowl Sunday! Let’s go Giants!

Lost _____________Lost



Definitely Lost_________Next?


Update:: In fact I am. If you are under the age of 13 and would like an invitation to this special Candy, Puppydogs, and Fireworks party held at the Chuckie Cheese, just shoot me an email, you cute commenting piece of jailbait. ;-)

District Deliberations: And Another Two Bite The Dust

Today, after losing tremendously after spending the most in Florida, Rudy Giuliani has resigned himself from the presidential race. This really doesn’t come as a surprise considering he was finishing behind (already) presidential dropout Fred Thompson. What is more shocking (not really) is that Democratic Bronze Medalist in most of the primaries, John Edwards is also expected to announce that he will drop his bid for the nomination later today. The difference between these two, disregarding both their audacity in maintaining their bid for presidency this far, is that Giuliani has endorsed McCain for president, whereas Edwards has not endorsed anyone, and probably won’t until Obama makes him his Vice-Presidential candidate. So, to all of those waiting for the remaining nominations, the choices are down to President McCain, President Obama, President Clinton, President Romney, President Paul (o0o0o alliterative!) or President Huckabee in no particular order (yeah, right Huckabee and Paul don't have a chance). But basically what this means now, is that the presidential race just got a bit more convoluted, and I just became that much less likely to vote. That and (and I don’t want to paraphrase South Park here but have to) the race has just narrowed itself down to either the choice of A) a giant douche, or B) a Turd Sandwich (yet again). I don’t want to predict bad things, now, but I feel like whomever the next president is, their legacy will be similar to Ike Eisenhower / Jimmy Carter, and the next president will be scapegoated until the next JFK / Reagan. So at least that’s something to look forward to, no?

Shout out to Vatican City today. Salve, meum amicum! Also Jessica Biel!

District Deliberations: On the State of the Union…address

Last night was the final time that George W. Bush will give a State of the Union address. This was met with much applause from most of the nation, and naps from most of congress (seriously everyone the camera panned to was passed out). Now Dubya, knowing full well he can put this in cruise control for the remainder of his term, set out to discuss many of his policies that everyone at the bar booed last night. He touched on “No Child Left Behind” as a “bipartisan victory” that in reality is just a lofty unreachable goal with its current organization. He talked of the success of the surge in Iraq that has mollified much of the daily violence that occurs. Antiquity will tell us if it’s true and was worth doing. In an almost scripted moment, the president talked of “nucular” energy, causing everyone to drink twice. He discussed a plan to cut taxes, especially for the rich, an idea that Democrats have been saying was ill advised for a long time because of the War and our rising National Debt (not to mention the special Fuck You! to the middle and lower classes). He didn’t really touch on immigration or the environment or China, all topics which were alleged to be addressed. He discussed how the economy is slowing, but that we will be able to be strong proud Americans in the near future. In all, despite how drunk we got, it was depressing, but hopeful in a way. History will not be kind to this presidency, and it will be marred with 9-11 and Iraq. However it is these events that makes the future more promising, as we as a nation need to recover from this low point. And much like a bad relationship, its just time to move on and find somebody new. I just hope as a nation we make a prudent decision, and don't settle for a sloppy rebound that gives us crabs.

UPDATE:: To those who may have been offended by the picture of John McCain asleep... This isn't the NY Times, it's a blog. I didn't call out McCain for falling asleep last year or this year. I said that there were a bunch of congressmen who appeared to be napping. I apologize if your favorite candidate just couldn't seem to stay awake and there are more images of him dozing during the first big speech of the year. Get your panties out of a bunch. For your enjoyment there is now also an image of John Dingell, asleep during the State of the Union last night.

Queens Queries--> NYFG O-LINE

Welcome to QUEENS QUERIES....where I, the (not-so) Prolific), will ask questions about LIFE.....to be answered by either members or a particular individual I choose to interview....

Today, I am interviewing fellow Law School student Josyl, on the topic of the NYFG O-Line in their matchup with the Patriots D-Line and NYFG O-Lineman Chris Snee (because Josyl lived in the same hall as him during College)

1. Josyl, please tell me why Chris Snee and the NYFG O-Line will prevent the Patriots from getting to Eli?
Josyl: They'll protect mostly because they'll be running a bunch of short yardage plays, picking at the defense, and won't need to have max protect for a lot of long passes. this will especially be effective because the O-line blows holes open that our running game will exploit making the short passes and play action even deadlier. they're going to have to stack the line, and they'll over penetrate. as long as eli keeps stepping up into the pocket, we'll be successful.


2. Why is Chris Snee's nickname the Crocodile?
Josyl: I don't know.

3. Is Chris Snee's wife, Katie Coughlin, hot?
Josyl: Yes, she def is, I saw her walking around campus (BC) and she's gorgeous.

4. Does Shaun O'Hara (# 60) own an Irish Pub?
Josyl: If he doesn't, he better be in the market.

5. What type of name is La Kevin? (La Kevin Smith is a D-Lineman for the Patriots, who is going to get SHAT on, then again, he never plays)
La Kevin is the traditional type of ignorant-ass black parents name (think La Tisha, La Toya, La Quanda)

6. Do you know who La Kevin Smith is?
Josyl: No, I don't know who he is

EXACTLY

7. Any last words about Chris or anything else
Josyl: He's an amazing guy. He looks like a big angry bear, but he was genuinely one of the nicest guys I knew, and one of the few guys on the football team who wasn't absolutely full of himself. It's a great story, and I wish him the best.
Also, he used to give me so much shit for being a Giants fan in college because he was a Bears fan so i found it hilarious that he got drafted to the team. I saw him after the draft, gave a smirk, and said "welcome to the team".

Playoffs Guys and why ELI is good

So the New York Football Giants are going to the Super Bowl

Since the beginning of the NFL Playoffs, I have followed the New York Football Giants (NYFG, not to be confused with the NYPD or the NYFD, which you may know from others sources) in their quest to finally get past the first round. It just happened to be that the day of their first playoff quest was the last day of the trip, when Chiggy departed to Cali. However, he did meet the first GUY in my 3 part NFL Playoffs (Playoffs?) , you know that guy series.

Drunken New York Giants Fan (Queens Edition, DNYFG-Q)

You know that guy.....
this is the type of guy that I have met at the local bar before while he was on a date during the last week of regular season baseball. He then proceeds to leave his date for half an hour. When he returns, I offer him some left over wings, which he shares with his date and high-fives me.
this is the type of guy that arrives at the local bar wearing his NYFG t-shirt early for the NYFG vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers Wild Card Round Game . By early, he was standing outside for the bar owner to come open it up.
this is the type of guy that approaches a group of young people at the bar. These young people composed of 3 girls and 3 guys. He then asks which team they support, although they are wearing NYFG jerseys.
this is the guy that starts hitting on one of the girls until he asks if she is dating one of the guys with her, to which she replies yes.

this is the guy that moves around the bar looking for the real “Giants” fans

this is the guy that is a real catch-22 for bar owners…..he is annoying as fuck, yet he is the best customer

this is the guy that says, “Eli is not bad, he is my favorite player, especially when he passes it to my favorite player ever Plaxico Buress, but he can only do that when he gets protection from my favorite players, the O-Line, who can protect Eli, my favorite player, when the running game has been established by Brandon Jacobs, my favorite player”.

this is the guy that emphasizes the PASS GAME of the New York Giants (however, he ended up being a prophet when ELI threw his first td pass to……..

this is the guy that whenever Amani Tommer (# 81 for the NYFG) touches the football screams out “IT IS NOT A TUMOR” like displayed below

you know that guy.

NYFG 24- Tampa Bay 14

Angry Dallas Cowboys Fan (ADCF)
You know that guy.
this is the guy that lives in NY and grew up in the area, yet his a Cowboys fan because of the early 1990s
this is the guy that comes to a bar dominated by NYFG fans with his die-hard NYFG girlfriend
this is the guy that guy that is annoying everyone by cheering overtly loudly at Cowboys plays before they are actually successful
this is the guy that when gummy smiled jackass (thanks Senator) threw that last interception just like he threw up on Yoko Romo’s parents that Saturday morning after he had that one too many Margaritas on Friday, left the bar and refused to go back in
this is the guy that would not re-enter the bar and had to wait outside in the cold until his girlfriend finished her last shot because of the NYFG victory

You know this guy....

NYFG 21 – Dallas Cowboys 17

Drunken New York Giants Fan (Manhattan Edition, DNYFG-M)
you know that guy
this is the guy that comes in with his friends after the NYFG victory over the Green Bay Packers with two of his buddies

this is the guy that finds the youngest people playing beer pong and oddly stands next to them
this is the guy that …LETS GO….BIG BLUE….LETS GO….BIG BLUE…..X45
this is the guy that angrily reacted when someone took their beer pong shot instead of yelling back, BIG BLUE
this is the guy then became one of my closest friends ever
this is the guy that leaves to buy the group beers, which he does. He is old…He has a job
this is the guy that in the process of buying beers, finds the bartender attractive and proceeds to take off his shirt
this is the guy that after taking off his shirt, gets on the bar and performs a semi-strip tease for the attractice bartender

LETS GO….BIG BLUE….LETS GO….BIG BLUE
you know this guy....

NYFG 23- Green Bay Packers 20

On a sidenote, I learned today in my Civil Procedure Class that the "know this guy" column is considered in some jurisdictions a possible intentional tort based on libel that could create legal problems for me.

As for Eli's transformation. I believe it is his care-free attitude. Also, word on the Streets of New York is that a certain Dalai Lama provided Eli with the following video...

Eli ignored the losers and brought his determination, A-game and drive to the field and success has followed him.

I live, work and am friends with degenerates

With the biggest gambling day of the year on the horizon, I have been prompted to post my long promised gambling piece.

The reason for the delay is BS stole some of my thunder when he posted the following mailbag.

The basic premise for both our articles was that gambling should only be done within reason. You WOULD think this would be obvious but even fellow LGTS writers are degenerates (cough “the Senator” cough). It’s gotten so bad that my friends give me daily briefs on the benefits of betting First Half NBA lines/ College Bball/ Greek Soccer/ etc. BS had a pretty comprehensive set of rules however I would like to add a few.

LGTS Gambling rule #1: Only bet on Sports that you watch- You would think this would be obvious but my aforementioned NBA First Half Line Betting Degenerate friend ("NFHLBD") convinced another friend of mine who has never watched the NBA on the merits of parlays using the following logic. “You can win over 2 grand from a dollar bet if you get a 12 team parlay right!” Needless to say he put his dollar up, lost it in the first game and would have been better served “investing” in the lottery.

LGTS Gambling rule #2: Only bet on Sports teams that you have watched- Similar to rule # 1 and again you would think this would be obviously but “NFHLBD” decided to bet on Portland (note, not the Blazers but the university) v. Some unranked team. (I could get you the exact game but that’s exactly how he described it to me) Why did he bet on them, you ask? Their bodog stats were strong, and the other team’s bodog stats were very weak.

Ignoring the fact that these stats are HISTORICAL and therefore are not accurate predictors of the future, the guys here at LGTS have composed the following test to ensure that you are compliant with rule #2.

1. Do you know who plays on this team? If yes, you might be ok if no proceed to question two

2. Do you know one player on this team (preferably the best player)? If yes, then gamble at your own risk, if no then proceed to question three.

3. If someone was on the injury report do you have any idea what that actually does to your gambling risk profile? If yes you are walking the thin line of blasphemy but you might be ok, if no you are a moron.

Needless to say NBFHLBD failed all three of these questions, put his bet up and promptly lost badly. The best part was he parlayed the bet with two others that he easily covered because you know parlays are great! You can make a 500% return!

LGTS Gambling rule #3: Stop gambling when you start saying things like “100% return just seems so low, what can I do to make this bet look more attractive.” Can you guess who said the above line? If you think this might be the same person who bets on NBA first half lines you are correct.

LGTS Gambling rule #4: Only bet on games that you can watch- This rule is not as intuitive as the others as you can easily win bets on games that you didn’t watch but this rule was put in place as a safeguard against rules 1 and 2. The Senator bets on Greek Soccer! Greek Soccer! What's next IVY league basketball? The status of his current greek soccer bet is TBD, however you might have noticed a trend when people break the rules........

Sure you can research teams ad nauseum with the 24/7 information cycle but without actually watching the games you are counting on second hand information. Trust your eyes! Trust yourself! Do your own research! Watch the games!

And if trusting yourself means you are a loser then reading this blog has been a waste of time for you because there’s nothing that I can say that will make your gambling any better.

Update

Upon hearing about the creation of the following rules, the Senator had the following response “Being a gambling man, I will bet that we do not follow those rules"

Update II

Upon reading the blog NFHLBD took a moment to reflect and confided in me about his wavering confidence. He mentioned he had been losing horribly lately, and that this past week he had missed 6 out of 6 bets in his round robin (sort of like a modified parlay). Does this mean NFHLBD decided to get out of the gambling business? Nope he came up with this gem of a strategy. “I am seriously thinking about picking games that I would bet on and then making the exact opposite bet to see what happens, if I did the exact opposite thing, (on Saturday) I’d be rich”

GL NFHLBD, I can already see LGTS Gambling rule #5……

Update III

The Senator won both of his parlays including "English, Italian, Greek, Spanish, and German soccer” Needless to say I am impressed by the gambling ability of the Senator.

The 1st District Deliberation

Today in politics

So, much to the disdain of Hillary Clinton, Ted, Patrick, and Caroline Kennedy all rallied today in support of Candidate Barack Obama for the 08 Democratic nomination. This comes as a shock as other members of the Kennedy family have explicitly held their support for Hilldog. However, being of a more liberal standing, and not wanting to see “Some er, uh, dumb broad run hir mowth”, Ted, Patches and Caroline specifically endorsed Obama, and in doing so fired back at every criticism Hillary has thrown at him. Needless to say, the speech was filled with a ton of JFK and RFK propaganda, as well as this group of “limousine liberals'” reiteration of their own progress for change and hope and blah blah blah who gives a fuck. Honestly, I never see the point in endorsing a candidate for the nomination unless you have something to gain. If you’re endorsing a specific democrat, its highly unlikely if that candidate doesn’t get a nomination that you’re gonna vote republican. Am I right? For the Kennedys this seemed a bit more opportunistic for them in that they are either getting cabinet positions or deliberately using Obama to fuck with Hillary(more likely) Also, while this does stick it to Hillary, Teddy Kennedy explicitly said in his speech that this does not take away from his opinion of his friends (hilldog and blinky) and how he just hopes for a democrat to win in 08. (cough::you're so full of shit::cough)

Well there it is. Obama has officially been endorsed by a murderer and another threat to anyone driving after happy hour. (I’ve no beef with sweet Caroline) And while I feel this could be a good move because the Kennedys are still America’s royal family and people love them, despite 20 years of the Clinton-Bush monarchy, I think this is more beneficial to their interests then Barack. While he gains some big name support, I think they are sucking at his youth to try and keep themselves hip and politically active for another 20 years. In addition, Kennedy’s admission of his support for a democratic presidency whether or not Obama is there is also a bit sketchy. So to summarize the entire point of today’s exercise in endorsements, I’ll go with, “Fuck you Hillary, unless you win the nomination, then we were just kidding. XOXO The Kennedys P.S. stop being a bitch”

Also to anyone interested in the State of the Union address tonight, here’s something fun that I’ll most likely be participating in. http://www.drinkinggame.us/

P.S. Shoutout to our friends in Gjovik, Norway, and Rosebank, South Africa… We here at LGTS appreciate your support in visiting our site, and continue to ponder how you found us in the first place. Cheers! UPDATE:::: my bad, and of course a special shoutout to those in Leuven/Brussels, Beligum. Op Uw Gezondheid!

And for no good reason...Elisha Cuthbert