Whoo Boy do we have something to discuss. I mean, with all that’s been going on the past two days, Clemens in Congress, the Potomac Primaries, et al, can you believe that the Beagle won the Dog Show?! My God!
Just kidding. Ok, in real news, Roger Clemens has been testifying before Congress the past two days, and (from experience) I know the hill has been just a zoo. The best part about this whole thing is that Congress has outright said that Clemens is lying to them (perhaps in an attempt to convince him not commit any more perjury than he already has). However, Clemens is continuing to testify that he never did anything wrong. This is unbelievable because Clemens will face jail time if convicted of lying to Congress, yet he’s maintaining his story despite the mountains of evidence placed against him. It takes a certain kind of person to be that forthright, whether or not he’s innocent. Also, this has been fun to watch because I rest assured that every time Congressman Waxman tells Roger to be quiet or stop talking out of turn, Clemens gets all red in the face, probably wanting to do this to him.
A homosexual man in Columbus, Ohio is claiming that he was harassed on New Year’s Day by Cleveland Browns' Quarterback, Brady Quinn. Police were involved, but no charges were pressed. I really don’t care that this is news because I feel like it is a poor attempt by Brady to gain a public advantage on Derek Anderson, who has gained popularity for simply knowing Sara-Jean Underwood (oh and making that Pro-Bowl jammy). In addition, having been to Ohio, I know that nothing excites a Ohio resident more than a hot naked chick than some good ole’ fashion gay bashing.
As for the Potomac Primaries…WOW. After firing her Campaign Manager, HillDog expected at least some return in the three primaries held yesterday. WRONG. 08ama swept the primaries handedly, including several demographics Hillary has depended on, namely Women, Latinos, and Blue-collar workers. This is huge because Hillary is starting to run out of options. The big 4 that are left are North Carolina, Texas, Pennsylvania, and Ohio, and if Hillary can’t muster enough support there, it’s over. This is also a shock because I feel, unlike Hillary’s campaign, 08ama has a few tricks up his sleeve yet (Edwards, and maybe even Gore). On the other side of the Campaign, McCain swept the Potomac too, but it was closer than he would have liked it to have been. This is due to the support of Evangelicals and Born-Again Christians to Huckabee’s cause, but who cares. It’s not like those people are going to vote for a female or a Negro anyways, I tells ya. Ron Paul wandered into the primaries continuing to trail behind people who aren’t running anymore, which led me to believe that Keebler needs to do a better job locking up their elves.
Presidential Predictions!
If Obama wins the nomination/gets Edwards as a running mate, there is our next president. However, if HillDog manages some kind of miracle comeback, which we’ve never seen before, she’ll still get stomped in the election because ¾ of the nation hates her. Let’s be serious, the only reason she’s tied with Obama is because half the Democrats like her. If she gets the nomination, look for that other half to go the way of the independent and vote for the moderate McCain. Just for the record, its not that America isn’t ready for a woman president, Hillary just isn’t that woman.
But, on the topic of women, and the SI Swimsuit Issue release, here's cover girl Marissa Miller, the only reason I have an iPod...
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