The Hills

Living outside of the comforts of Southern California, I was captivated by the MTV show Laguna Beach. Yes, I am a bitch. I watched Laguna. Fake High School Team Drama couldn't been better. Sophomore year of College we even had a Laguna Viewing Party, where we killed a a good 3 24 packs of beer. Call us bitches, but it doesn't get better than this, and WHY? Simply because they are so STUPID and ATTRACTIVE. Laguna's spin-off, the Hills features a bit less attractive girls, but the same amount of insane stupidity and drama that we all secretly love. Today, I will analyze and make comments on last week's the Hills Episode.
Opening Credits (What Happened on the last show)
Heidi (the archrival/former best friend of the star of the show Lauren Conrad) is shown in her new job position, where she leapfrogged more senior employees because she's on a fucking TV Show.
Lauren, the star, has been dating a bunch of douches and now decides to have coffee with her ex, Jason, star of VH1's celebrity (and by celebrity, D list celebrity) Rap-Off.
Audrina, Lauren's attractive but mentally challenged new roommate, begins dating some douche with the bad boy attitude, yet he probably has a trust fund. He also always has dirty white t-shirts, which have led me to believe that MTV dirties them for him before every scene. At least, we see Audrina's ass crack while she is riding off with him in his bike.
Beggining of the Show
Audrina enters and tells Lauren about her great weekend with her douche. They had a good time and "fooled around". We will probably see a sex tape soon. Her boyfriend looks like the type of douche that would do that.
Lauren, is then showed at her office at Teen Vogue. Lauren works around 2 days a week. Judging from previous episodes, Lauren comes in for around 2 hours those 2 days and gets asked questions by her friend/superior. I can't remember that bitches name because all she does is ask Lauren fucking plot advancing questions. Just when it was getting awkward, Jason calls and asks Lauren for dinner. I hope he bangs her again!
Fucking Heidi has some intern transfer her numbers to her new phone. Heidi is a fucking whore. Not even when I was a shit intern did I have to do something as shitty as that! During this, Heidi gets a call from her DOUCHE Spencer. He asks about her new job even thought he probably saw her 15 minutes before. Spencer invites Heidi to dinner to the same place where Jason asked Lauren too. Possible Conflict where many near shoves and words will be exchanged, resembling Penn Fraternity parties.
Restaurant
Both couples get there. Spencer is a douche and makes fun of the fact that Jason was in jail and rehab. I want to be friends with Jason, he knows how to party. Jason also wants to throw down and beat the shit out of Spencer. Fucking Lauren tells him not to do it. Women are once again the downfall of a good rumble. Lauren makes Jason roll so he won't fight. FUCK. Anyways, they go home. Jason talks to Lauren about how he always knew Heidi was a fucking WHORE. As always, dudes are right and they always know when girls' friends are stupid, which they usually are. Then they play the stupid music they always play about some EMO feeling they have. EMO moment ensues. I wish Jason would get drunk and bang Lauren.
Next Day
The girl at work asks Lauren stupid questions. Same shit, different show. However, Lauren refers to Spencer as "homeboy".
Definition of homeboy according to Urban Dictionary: Originally used among transplanted African-Americans with Southern roots to refer to and aid in the assimilation of someone who might have directly migrated from a common Southern home town or is otherwise well known to the person using the term.
I will leave this at that.
Heidi goes to work and vents to the poor lady she took the promotion from. The lady calls her sad. HEIDI=WHORE
Lauren leaves work early, because she doesn't do shit. I hope Jason bangs her again.
Disappointment comes in the scenes from the next show, as we hear that Jason is engaged.
what a LOSER! don't worry thought, that means more for Chigozie.