Womanese!

Welcome to the World of Womanese!

What!

Womanese!

It’s no surprise that women speak another language. It’s also no surprise that most men do not speak or understand this language.

With this post, I will open you up to a whole new world.

Now, it’s time to break the language of Womanese!

For your reading pleasure, bold will be the woman, and normal text will be the translation. And italics will be for your host - JW.

I think of you as my brother!

or

You remind me of my brother!

I would consider sexual acts with you to be incest!

I’m not looking for a relationship right now.

I’m not looking for a relationship with YOU.

When you get a chance…

Do this immediately or else!

Have you had the time to…

Stop whatever you are doing, and DO THIS RIGHT NOW!

Of course I don’t mind paying for myself!

You cheap bastard!

I’m not ready for a boyfriend right now...

I sure as heck don’t want to settle down with YOU!

I need more space

You are becoming undesirable and unattractive to me.

I’m trying to focus on my ‘career’ or ‘education’

Even though my training and studying are tedious and boring, I find them to be more exciting than you’ll ever be.

You wouldn’t understand!

I don’t even understand, but I’m not going to tell you.

Hell, we ALL don’t understand!

I like you, but…

I DON’T LIKE YOU AT ALL!

This is the kiss of death and if a woman ever says this to you, you walk away, don’t waste your time with girls that have low interest.

Let’s just give it some time….

You are not high on my rating list. You are a good backup if someone better doesn’t come along.

Let’s Just Be Friends

You will never see me naked. I’m not attracted to you.

Every guy has heard this at least once, or has been LJBFed!

I don’t want to ruin OUR friendship

I want you to remain my girly friend, someone I can use as my emotional tampon!

We need…

I want!

How about you give me YOUR number?

I’ll add it to my trophy collection of guy’s numbers – pathetic guys who want me but I don’t want them!

NEVER GIVE YOUR NUMBER to a girl unless you already have hers.

I’m NOT UPSET YOU JERK!!!

I’m upset!

She’s very upset!

Am I fat?

Please tell me I’m beautiful

We need to talk!

I need to complain about something irreverent!

Where is this going?

Are you my boyfriend? Or, are we getting married?

Watch out!

No

No

Maybe

No

Let me think about it

No

I feel like I have known you my entire life!

We have a winner! I won’t let this prize get away from me!

No

Yes