Showing posts with label fordham law school. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fordham law school. Show all posts

Friday, October 19, 2007

Law School Lesson II

Off Law School Lesson I, I felt a bit tired and had no desire to share my Law School experience for awhile. However, an incident occurred today that I had to share with the world. This incident was followed by a short press conference outside the Fordham Law School Library attended by the local media, including yours truly. Sources tell me that the incident revolved around an innocent law school student who was told by a random DOUCHE that his talking on his mobile phone in a closed off (and nearly soundproof) stairwell inside the Fordham Library was ILLEGAL (he must be citing the Constitution or something).
Here is a small transcript of the press conference, followed by a video to a similar press conference:

Anybody tell you that I was talking on the phone in the stairwell, if, if, if, if a random law school douche say I talked on the phone in the stairwell then y’all hear it, then that’s that. I mean, I might have talked for about a minute. But if, if somebody say, “He talked on the phone in the library’s stairwell”, it can be one call, out of all the times I’m in the library this year. That’s enough.

(cut in news conference footage)

If I want to talk, I want to talk, man. If I don’t, I don’t. I mean, simple as that. It ain’t about that. I mean it’s, it’s not about that at all, you know what I’m sayin’? I mean, but it’s, it’s, it’s easy to, to talk about, it’s easy to sum it up when you just talk about the fact that it was in the stairwell of the library. We sittin’ here, I supposed to be the franchise law student, and we in here talkin’ about talking in the stairwell. I mean, listen, we talkin’ about the stairwell. Not the library, not the library, not the library…we talkin’ about the stairwell. Not the library. Not a, not a, not the library where I go out there and, and study hard and read every case like it’s my last. Not the library. We talkin’ about the stairwell, man. I mean how silly is that? Man, we talkin’ about the stairwell. I know I’m supposed to be studying. I know I supposed to lead by example. I know that. And I’m not, I’m not shoving it aside, you know, like it don’t mean anything. I know it’s important. I do. I honestly do. But we talkin’ about the stairwell man. What are we talkin’ about? The Stairwell? We talkin’ about talking on the stairwell man. (laughter from members of the press) We tal…we talkin’ about the stairwell. We talkin’ about talking on the stairwell. We ain’t talkin’ about the library. We talkin’ about the stairwell man.

(now addressing one particular member of the press)

When you come in the library, and you see me study, you see me study don’t you? You see me give everything I got, right? Well, we talkin’ about talking on the stairwell right now. We talkin’ about the stairwell…Man, look, I hear you. I, it’s funny to me too. And I mean it’s strange, it’s strange to me too. But we talkin’ about the stairwell, man. We not even talkin’ about the library, or actual classes, which is what matters. We talkin’ about talking in the stairwell.

(inaudible question from member of the press)

How the hell can I pass the bar by not talking on the library stairwell?


Thursday, October 18, 2007

Law School Lesson I

As some of you guys know, I, the "PROLIFIC" Noe, am a Law Student. I feel that I should give people that possibly might enter Law School some advice. For people that don't ever want to hear about Law School, you guys can gain some insight on what the fuck goes on in there (it is not orgies) and for current lawyers (I really hope this is none of you), you can reminisce about the good times of Law School. The first insight I want to give about Law School is that you have to find a proper place to study....wait....no, wrong.....people have to take a shit. I am in fucking school over 10-12 hours a fucking day and sometimes I have to take a shit and I actually feel that this might reach out to more readers.
At Fordham Law School, there are a series of bathrooms that I could use to take a crap.
1- Main Lobby
2- Basement
3- 2nd Floor
4- 3rd Floor
5- The one on the other side of the building closer to the undergrads.

There are various points that are important in choosing the bathroom where you would take a shit at a place that is not your home.
1- It must be somehow in the way of at least one place you go to a day.
2- It must have more than one toilet seat
3- The door must not be very close to a door where people often circulate.
4- Double doors are crucial
5- Make sure it is close to a place where you can safely leave your belongings.

In order, I will rank my favorite bathrooms to take a shit on at Fordham Law School
1- 3rd Floor- Meets all criteria, isolated but on the way to Criminal Law, plenty of stalls, semi-close to library and elevator (if you really have to go)
2- Basement- Again close to the library and to the main entrance (if you want to leave one before you go), however, it is very close to some Law Reviews and many people know, if you are in the Basement and you are not in a Law Review, you are there to shit.
3- 2nd Floor- It is conveniently close to class, however, if suffers from overcrowding.
4- Undergrad Bldg- It is a high volume area. It is also too close to the RIF RAF of undergrads. I am not sure why, but I just feel naked in that bathroom.
5- Lobby- The main reason is that it is the the fucking lobby. It has one STALL and some members of the First Year student body HAVE been known to harass people taking shits there (I will not mention any names).

I hope this breakdown will inspire some of you to Law School. This series will continue whenever my professors stop giving me so much shit to do.

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