The Trip

The trip has been completed. Noe and I will be constantly updating the blog with a recap of our exploits. I will begin with the end in mind.

Starting off, I would like to pontificate about future trips;

Alaska cruise? Vegas? LA? GEM Reunion Party?

Needless to say I will be heavily involved in the planning of all subsequent trips (playing it by ear)

Next I would like to acknowledge some individuals who allowed to the trip to be possible.

E. Valdez, Carlos, Asian Couple, Ani, Badu, Dome, Mr. & Mrs. Shawala, Emo, Albert, Ernie, Jess etc.

Special Thanks to Sr. Burgos, Luz, Mo NA, Joey and Lincoln.

Finally the trip would not have been possible without my road trip mates Prolific and P$

The Perfect Season

Double Deuce stated it perfectly, sports are not important. However sports do allow us to gain insights into human nature. The NFL season this year is no different.

The Patriots! The Dolphins! It’s on CBS!

Their continued quest for perfection, the delicacy and the ebbs and flows of human perception have been on display this season. For two straight weeks, the patriots were seen as vulnerable, their aura didn’t seem as infallible as it had all year. Then Patriots came out and defeated a powerful Steelers team and now they are seen as infallible again. The Dolphins similarly have appeared pretty hapless and have been comfortably seen as the seen as the worst franchise in football. However the Dolphins were favorites against the Jets late in the season. They subsequently lost and now are seen as locks to finish the perfect season.

The beauty in which Brady hit Jabber Gaffney in the end zone can be contrasted with irony of Cleo Lemon faking the handoff to the empty backfield (aka Danny). Perception has now become reality and the differences have been on the margins.

Expectations create reality as the Patriots are seen grimacing after 20 point blowouts. Similarly the Dolphins can be seen enjoying themseleves while in the midst of the “perfect” season.

Now, if sports aren’t so important why have I taken the time to blog about it? Sports don’t really matter unless you have a rooting interest and a few weeks ago during the Ravens game, I realize, I am a Patriots fan, something is extremely intriguing their quest. Randy Moss has always been one of my favorite players and I would also like to see the end of the ‘72 Dolphins reign. Life is always changing and I would love to write a new chapter in the history of sports. The Dolphins quest make it even sweeter as it puts direct focus on the Dolphins history.

Let the games begin

Sports: Saving the World one Kennel at a time

Lets get this out of the way right off the bat; sports are irrelevant. They don’t matter. Nothing about them matters. When you watch a pre-season game, the announcer of that game will continually jabber something along the lines of, “folks, the play has been a bit spotty today, but you can’t blame the competitors for their lack of motivation because these games don’t count yet.” Well, what does that mean? Aren’t all games, at their core, exhibitions? I mean, if Reggie Bush doesn’t get into the endzone again this Sunday, he’s not going to be executed. As much as die-hard fans want to believe it; football is not a life and death experience. This isn’t to say it’s not important—200 million sportsfans in 100 countries can’t all be wrong—because it is. But it’s definitely not substantial enough to deflect our gaze from things that are truly important; crime, education and the disenfranchisement of minorities to name a few things. Except that it does deflect our gaze. Apparently, Americans just aren’t multi-taskers. It would be impossible for us to enjoy sports and fix cultural and societal ills, so why even try?

All right, time to get down from my soapbox because I’m not purposefully writing an indictment of sport. Americans tend to deify athletes. We allow them to be paid too much while giving back nothing beyond entertainment. But this isn’t their fault, you know. There is another way to look at this. Sports aren’t of vital importance, and we can all agree on this. If we can all also agree that we place too much stock in teams that have nothing to do with ourselves beyond a shared tax base (and geographical proximity). Well, if we can all agree on all that garbage, saying sports aren't important, yet they retain this importance from so many of those same people then isn't it possible that sports actually are vitally important. Perception is reality, right. I mean, these people still care. Perhap, sports aren’t on par with food or water, but they’re close. Maybe sports are like the In-N-Out Burger of our diets. They aren’t necessary, but it’s no fun to live in a world without them. However, there’s much more to this analogy than simply saying, “It’s obvious, we like sports because they’re fun.” This is, most definitely, true. However, the same can be said about everything in life. Why do we love Casablanca? Because it’s a great movie, right? Is that the whole story though? Isn’t Casablanca a meditation on what the cost of doing the right thing is? What is the right thing anyways? And I know a lot of enjoyment can be sapped from things by intellectualizing them, but its one key to overcoming those people who would say we don’t need sporting ideals. It’s a way to say, “Hey, us pseudo-intellectuals love sports too.” These are the same intellectuals who decry teachers as the poor underpaid while neglecting to notice the sheer human excellence involved in the making of an athlete while glossing over the fact of the matter; way more people are qualified to be teachers than are qualified to be professional athletes.

Still, in the wake of tragedies like the Sean Taylor shooting I’m forced to wonder why we, as a society, place sports on such a pedestal. And this question quickly becomes even more elemental; why do I continue to place them on a pedestal? Like every thing that interests me, this argument comes back to me. But it’s the same for all of us. How do sports enrich your life? In my life, I tend to use sport as a prism through which I see the rest of the world. They allow me to create a worldview and they form my interactions with the world around me because almost everyone else has knowledge of sport to almost the same extent. This cannot be overstated. The fact that it allows me to see myself and to understand others is a reason for them to remain important. But there’s another even more important point to keep in mind. Sports are fun. They’re better than movies or theater because there is an objective winner, but they’re better than science because, played at their highest level, they are more art than science. Sometimes, an In-N-Out Burger is really a whole lot better than anything else.

A New Festure entitled "One Line at a Time"

“I thought we were through with all this,” I screamed in her direction, “But, honey, I guess we can never outrun our future. It’s always there, right in front of us.”

The woman peered at me for a second before finally saying, “You realize we’ve never met.”

Holiday Roustabout: F*&* &/or Yeah

You know, this is the time of year for merriment, giving, love and all-around happiness. I know this because I’m told by my television and radio announcers to have a “Happy Holiday.” Usually, this is the kind of herd mentality, mass marketing that would really grind my gears, especially because the ‘Niners are currently sporting a record of 3 and 8. But not this year; not this time. This time I’m going to push up my sleeves, wear something pastel in shade and pop my collar in honor of everything I’m happy about this holiday season.

I am eternally thankful that I know no less than two girls whom I call, “Heyyyyyy….you,” but that these girls continue to smile at me instead of pointing out the obvious and making me live down the mistake of constantly forgetting their names.

I could not be happier about watching a friend of mine sprain his ankle last night while leaving a bar. However, stay tuned for my after New year’s post entitled, “Karma Rubber Band Strikes Back,” or, “Karma’s a Bitch and its name is Matt.”

The return of the comedy has made me relatively happy this year. Seriously, if Knocked Up and Superbad coming out this year means that I don’t have to listen to American Pie 3 jokes about how wacky it is to get married anymore then Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow deserve every cent they earn over the next three or four millennia.

I’m ecstatic that laziness has taken the place of industriousness and is now a virtue, that Josh Smith is a monster fantasy basketball player and that white people are still decidedly bad dancers. It’s nice to know that while some things change; others never will.

Good Lord, I’m thankful for post-modernism. If you don’t really know what that term means then here’s a short definition. It means that instead of being creative and hard-working, I can just as easily be unimaginative and apathetic in writing this column because I’ve had the courage to point out the column's obvious flaws.

This holiday season has brought so much to so many. For example, for each person who reads this column a newborn angel will get its wings. However, when that angel flies over Africa, it will be shot by a poacher looking for condor, but do not despair each angel has the capacity to feed 12 starving African children and tastes great when cooked over an open flame. Save a life; read this article and don’t forget to thank your neighborhood poacher today.

Onto the Picks; as always Chigozie makes the picks and I write about them except when I decide he should. I don’t know; what do you want from me, huh? I’m at work. I’m just trying to write a fucking picks column, you know? Shit.

Atlanta +3 At St. Louis

It appears the NFL wants to fill American eyes with shit so that we don’t notice all the pig shit seeping into our river ways. What you didn’t hear about the pig shit problem? Well, didn’t the rash of manbearpigs roaming the countryside tip off the epidemic?

Buffalo +6 At Washington

The prevailing opinion is that The National Football organization has recently turned to garbage because of parity. I disagree; it’s always been mostly putrid except that now the putrid teams are on a revolving carousel of shittiness. This is still a bad thing; it makes it impossible for a young fan to identify with their team as either an asshat douchebag frontrunner who roots for a winner or a lovable idiot constantly rooting against his asshat overlords, hoping against hope that this is the year his shitty team breaks through. On a related note, I miss being a Forty-Niner fan in the ‘90’s.

Detroit +3.5 At Minnesota

Chigozie is an ignorant slut if he doesn’t realize the Lions have no business in this game. My prognosticators have informed me that Purple Jesus is ready to return from injury. I can tell you one thing, if he doesn’t rush for 200 yards or at least walk on water or cause a plague of locusts to be unleashed on the heathen Lions, I will have a crisis of confidence in my beliefs.


At Tennessee -3.5 Houston

Again, my chocolate friend is blinded my his mancrushes. The man has a ½ chub for Vince Young at all times. It’s actually really funny. If he’s doing the California Crotch Grind at a club and a girl mentions Vince Young, his boner actually grows. It’s science.

Jacksonville +6.5 At Indianapolis

This has all the makings of a game that could totally not suck. The NFL: Mediocrity at its most fannnnnn-tastic

NY Jets +1.5 At Miami

All right. I want you to think of all the things in your life that you suck at. Think of the things that you do on a regular basis that you just can’t stand. Now multiply that by infinity, and take it to the depths of forever, and you still will barely have a glimpse of how shitty the Dolphins are at their jobs.

At Kansas City +6 San Diego

The Chargers have a secret weapon in this game and his name is Ladainian Tomlinson. I know, I know; as gamblers we shouldn’t pin our hopes to unproven running backs whom no one has heard of this year, but seriously, I hear this guy is going to be good.

At Philadelphia -3 Seattle

Who cares?

At Carolina -3 San Francisco

Ugh. Watching the 49er’s these days is one level better than watching a train wreck when you’re on the train. I guess, I’m saying that it’s possibly the only thing shittier than quilting or going out to brunch with your girlfriends Cowboy loving parents.

At New Orleans -3.5 Tampa Bay

Perhaps if we told Reggie Bush that there was an endorsement in the endzone, he’d actually get there a few times.

Cincinnati +7 At Pittsburgh

The same goes for Fast Willie Parker. In fact an ode:

Willie Parker you are so fast
So why Willie Parker do you run out of gas
At the one yard line
Where it would be so fine
You must hate me; you are a horse’s ass.

Cleveland +1 At Arizona

The Cardinals only get one point against Horse Ball Anderson. What the fuck. That’s only like 17 points against the Patriots.

Denver -3.5 At Oakland

It’s really too bad that Horse Balls doesn’t play for the Broncos. That would be cool.

NY Giants -2 At Chicago

Betting on the Giants is like betting on a game of Russian Roulette in the Deer Hunter. You know you’re probably going to win a few times, but then at the end, Christopher Walken is going to get his head blown off while you cry into your hands. That was just me? No way.

New England -20 At Baltimore

After the close game last week, this line could be 74 and I’d halfway think the Patriots would cover it. They’re just that vindictive. But I can’t stay mad at them; I mean Boston’s a great town full of smart people who are always willing to give you directions on the best way to go fuck yourself. I mean, that’s true hospitality.

Corporate America II

If you missed the first installment of Corporate America you can find it here

Ernie had been working at B&B for a little while now. The work world was completely different than the educational confines that he had spent his whole life in. The social and expectation landscape was completely different than anything he ever experienced.

Sitting at his desk on another Monday morning Ernie was worn out from a weekend full of unsatisfying slaying. It was hard work to live up to his college nickname and being forced to slay every weekend for his friends in relationships who vicariously slayed through him. This weekend he had met up with a Puerto Rican stripper that he had met in a club……..

It was the first hour of the day, and Ernie figured that he would ease into the day, check out out the Wall Street Journal, Sherdog and Espn before he started his assignments for the week.

“Hello!” said Chris

“Damn”, Ernie thought.

Chris: “How was your weekend,” “Mine was great, I had a Kung Fu competition and I totally would have won but then I pulled a muscle in my lower back. The other black belts in Newark were lucky this week but they won’t be so lucky next time!”

Ernie: “It was alright, I just hung out”

Chris: “Jess, Jess, tell Ernie about how we almost hung out this weekend, but then your dog suddenly got sick we were totally going to do something super sweet!

Jess: “Uh yea, it totally would have”

Mark: “Hey Jess, too bad your dog got sick, I would have loved to hang out with you too. I was too busy Skydiving, you know I am certified instructor and if you ever want to go out, I’ll protect you.”

Jess: “Yeah, I guess so”

Mark was the deuche who was constantly trying to hit on Jess in the office even though it was apparent she wasn’t interested. Mark was slightly above average in a lot of things and therefore thought he was great. He would always try to one up Ernie even though he pretended to be his friend. Even more annoying Ernie actually liked Jess and wanted to settle down with her even though he would never admit his feelings to her out loud.

Why are all these people talking around my desk, Ernie thought. “I mean I am not really working but they don’t know that, I don’t really understand why people think its alright to huddle around my cube and start long winded conversations.

Oh to be Monday at B&B, this is going to be another long week.

NFL Roustabout: Roustabout Harder

It's a weird symptom that we, as Americans, are ensconced with. Wewant to cheer for winners, but are secretly happy when we witness failure. We stare at train wrecks, watch NASCAR because of the crashes and are glued to the screen during the Sopranos wondering if Tony really got whacked or not. We crave excellence but revel in its failure. There is something sacrilegiously beautiful about human excellence coupled with human failure. This principle makes Steve Nash likable; it garnered Phil Mickelson legions of fans and untilthis year made Donavon McNabb seem sympathetic. In fact, in almost every case, it is easier to root for the underdog than to side with the Tigers or Federers of the world. Think about it; for every person we love to see succeed, there are 100 we want to see fail. For everyMichael Jordan there are people who have won their sport's ultimate prize who become immediately unlikable, for whatever reason. These are the Tim Duncans or Peyton Mannings or Kobe Bryants of the world. And they can't care about this, because it has nothing to do with them. It isn't their fault—well, except for Kobe; it is his fault. In truth, the reason we can't root for them has more to do with us than with them. It tells us that we only say we want to see winners,when in reality we want to see people have their dreams stripped away, and we want this because it humanizes them. We feel like, for once,they may feel exactly like we felt when our dreams were stripped away.

This is what makes it so hard to root for the Patriots; Tom Brady in particular. They've been to the top of the mountain and are only now reaching their potential. Do I want to see them fail? Honestly, I don't know. Is Tom Brady a Michael Jordan character or is he Tim Duncan? I can't decide.

There's an old, apocryphal story about Marilyn Monroe that Norman Mailer tells. He says that after Monroe signed her first big movie deal, she said, "Well, that's the last cock I ever eat." This is incredibly relevant this week because this is the only week of the year when no team in the league is going to eat the Patriots' collective cock, that is, unless the Patriots can figure out how to beat the bye week. I don't put anything by Tom Brady's sperm. But if the bye week is really the only way to musket-whip the Patriots, then why play the game? Why get up off the couch and work until your body gives out?

I can't help but think this is what every NFL player is going through this year. This is a scary thought and it is only indirectly related to the Patriots ransacking the league. They have not lost, and may not lose. For a professional athlete, who is not a member of the Patriots, and who has devoted an entire life to being the best player possible during his physical peak this can be an incredibly depressingnotion. You've given the sport your best years not to mention all of your mental and physical energies and after all of that; it turns outyou weren't good enough. Wouldn't it be much easier to just coast and to not work hard enough so that after the Patriots wax your team, you have a built in excuse? Obviously, it would be, but we don't root for the type of people who'd do this. We root for them to get back on the horse and try again and we do this because we know someone's got to eat the Patriot splooge and if that's your team this week, well that's okay; there's always next Sunday.

As always, Chigozie makes the picks, I make the dick jokes.

At Tennessee -4 Jacksonville

What’s the score of this game going to be? I’m guessing 13-7 or so. Did you know Vince Young has yet to throw for 200 yards in a game? I do.

At Kansas City -3 Denver

Good lord, what a shitty game.

Buffalo -3 At Miami

It’s like I’m going to have to go out into the world on Sunday. See, this is what people don’t understand. College Football Saturday is the day I go out with friends, get drunk in bars and, mostly, just have a great time. But football can serve another purpose. Football can make me forget that I am ridiculously hung-over. It nurses me through the time that I don’t want to even think about on Friday at work, but, you know, it can only do this if the games make me forget that feeling in the first place. Thanks a lot, NFL. (Mumbling) Fuckin Buffalo versus Miami. Fucking cockstain of a game.

Cleveland +9.5 At Pittsburgh

Chigozie called it a lock that the Browns would cover. I just hope his brown eye is puckered up because he’s about to get railed by the Big Motorcycle Crash himself.

At New Orleans -11.5 St. Louis

My analysis: Brees throws for 500 yards and 4 touchdowns.
Bush runs for 187 yards with 5 total touchdowns.
This needs to happen.

At Carolina -4 Atlanta

I would rather take out my contacts with sandpaper than watch this game.

At Washington -3 Philadelphia

Games like this help me to understand why people become gay. When games like this occur, they don’t have to watch. They can go shopping or hang out with girls or whatever else they do.

Minnesota At +6 Green Bay

The Purple Jesus is running into a brick wall known as Micah Favre. Sparks will fly and the heavens will open, and there will be no losers in this game, except the Vikings, who will, in fact, lose.

At Baltimore -4 Cincinnati

Fuck this.

At Oakland +3.5 Chicago “Getcha Roll On”

I don’t even know what Getcha roll on means. Often times Chigozie forgets that I am incredibly white. He said the word momma yesterday to signify to me that an older lady fancies him, and I just figured he was talking about this mother for about half the conversation. Honestly, I didn’t even question it until he mentioned going out, and hooking up and whatnot. Then it got a little weird, but I just sort of went with it.

Dallas -1 At NY Giants

A while ago, I wrote that the Patriots would beat the Cowboys because football is like Chess and having Bill Bellichick call plays against Wade Phillips was like having Garry Kasparov play chess against a seven year old autistic kid. Well, football is still like chess, and Tony Romo is about to make Eli Manning his queen.

Detroit +1 At Arizona

I don’t see how this game is only +1 to Detroit. I can’t foresee a single outcome in which Detroit doesn’t win by 17.

Indianapolis -3.5 At San Diego

In honor of Hubie Brown this will be written in only the second person: So, you’re Ladainian Tomlinson, and what are you thinking to yourself. You know you were on a great, great team last year and that your whole team is back. So, why are you a middling franchise this year? You know the coaching change has been rough but you can start to salvage the season with this game. You also know that Hubie is old and hungry so why don’t you get the old coach a sandwich? Thanks, Ladainian.

At Seattle -10 San Francisco

Seriously, they’re going to play this game on Monday Night. I shit you not. Tony Kornheiser is already thinking about ways to piss off fans right now as we speak.

Womanese!

Welcome to the World of Womanese!

What!

Womanese!

It’s no surprise that women speak another language. It’s also no surprise that most men do not speak or understand this language.

With this post, I will open you up to a whole new world.

Now, it’s time to break the language of Womanese!

For your reading pleasure, bold will be the woman, and normal text will be the translation. And italics will be for your host - JW.

I think of you as my brother!

or

You remind me of my brother!

I would consider sexual acts with you to be incest!

I’m not looking for a relationship right now.

I’m not looking for a relationship with YOU.

When you get a chance…

Do this immediately or else!

Have you had the time to…

Stop whatever you are doing, and DO THIS RIGHT NOW!

Of course I don’t mind paying for myself!

You cheap bastard!

I’m not ready for a boyfriend right now...

I sure as heck don’t want to settle down with YOU!

I need more space

You are becoming undesirable and unattractive to me.

I’m trying to focus on my ‘career’ or ‘education’

Even though my training and studying are tedious and boring, I find them to be more exciting than you’ll ever be.

You wouldn’t understand!

I don’t even understand, but I’m not going to tell you.

Hell, we ALL don’t understand!

I like you, but…

I DON’T LIKE YOU AT ALL!

This is the kiss of death and if a woman ever says this to you, you walk away, don’t waste your time with girls that have low interest.

Let’s just give it some time….

You are not high on my rating list. You are a good backup if someone better doesn’t come along.

Let’s Just Be Friends

You will never see me naked. I’m not attracted to you.

Every guy has heard this at least once, or has been LJBFed!

I don’t want to ruin OUR friendship

I want you to remain my girly friend, someone I can use as my emotional tampon!

We need…

I want!

How about you give me YOUR number?

I’ll add it to my trophy collection of guy’s numbers – pathetic guys who want me but I don’t want them!

NEVER GIVE YOUR NUMBER to a girl unless you already have hers.

I’m NOT UPSET YOU JERK!!!

I’m upset!

She’s very upset!

Am I fat?

Please tell me I’m beautiful

We need to talk!

I need to complain about something irreverent!

Where is this going?

Are you my boyfriend? Or, are we getting married?

Watch out!

No

No

Maybe

No

Let me think about it

No

I feel like I have known you my entire life!

We have a winner! I won’t let this prize get away from me!

No

Yes

"Letgotosmokes" The League

I had meant to live blog for the “Letsgotosmokes” fantasy basketball league draft in which I am the commissioner. My trip to D-Town got in the way of that little project but I will perform a quick recap.

What motivated this recap? JW sending me taunting emails about my team, Double Deuce talking trash about his week one win and Jron lurking in the wings to make commentaries about his (probable) week 2 win. It’s all good ya’ll. I’m just playing a little rope-a-dope like my boy’s Ali and the Diesel. Yes the Diesel is playing rope-a-dope. He will continue to dominate and yes he will win another ship. But I don't need to defend him he stated it best, "I don't need earthlings' respect. When it's all said and done, my name will be there and it will be mentioned ... unless you earthlings try to erase it."

Problem I- Finding Internet

Somehow I managed to schedule the draft when I was supposed to be in D-Town. This was a bad idea, especially since JW does not have Internet, none of his friends have Internet and he did not access to his work computer on the weekends. To make a long story short, I ended up in Einstein’s Bagels with my laptop going strong till they kicked me out 30 mins before the draft. In a frantic rush the Corner Bakery free wireless connection ended up saving my butt.

Problem II- Not enough Players

Somehow our 12th player dropped out hours before the draft and you are not able to draft without even numbers. Luckily JW was next to me and I “forced” him to play. Discounting for slight technical difficulties like drafting two participants on the same computer, things were in line to work well.

The Outlook

I like to win, especially in fantasy. Jron and I had already completed a draft in another public league. This league will not be discussed on this blog except in passing but needless to say I will win that league. My competitive juices are flowing for the “Letsgotosmokes” league because I know the majority of the players personally and they are all my friends and LOVE to talk trash.

The Players

Noe “The Prolific”: Noe’s team is also known as team Heat as he tends to have an inordinate amount of Heat players even though they aren't a fantasy relevant team. I love them, can’t wait till they win their next ship but I wouldn’t draft any of their players except the one I got; Flash.

Double Deuce: His favorite player is Squirt Gun 47 nuff said.

Jron: His teams tend to be the fantasy version of the Mavericks, great regular season numbers, fizzle out in the playoffs not really a threat to the ultimate fantasy goal

JW: I forced him to play, he talks trash, I am sure I will constantly update the blog with his emails. Tends to like the Nugs, and knows absolutely nothing about basketball

Brek: He is a NBA fan but tends to like the Bruins more, too bad Kevin Love and Collison weren't in the draft.

Evan Obrien aka Emob Don’t know much about him, he is a friend of the Deuce’s tends to know his stuff. Can’t really remember much about his team.

Evan Price aka meatspin aka Vanilla Face: My mortal enemy hence the name. Vanilla Face you know I want you!

Cruz (not game): See EMOB’s comment and insert Prolific for Deuce

McRae: I liked his team, he tended to draft smartly. Unwisely turned down my initial trade offer and will be my biggest challenger to the title.

Benzo: Team Celtic! While I don’t think it is cool to war things other than pregnant women (not MOMMYs get it correct, pregnant women) and KG; I do not think the strategy will be the most effective in the long run.

R. Young: See EMOB’s comment

Chiggy: “The favorite” I got flack because the majority of my team is starting the season injured.

The draft
Needless to say I thought I drafted the best team. I was also impressed with the drafts of Benzo and McRae. Upon further review Jron might have got some gems late in the draft that I had not accounted for anyways I would handicap our league like this

Noe 5-1
Double Deuce 4-1
Jron 3-2
JW 15-1
Brek 7-1
Emob 6-1
Vanilla Face 3-1
Cruz 7-1
McRae 4-1
Benzo 3-1
R. Young 6-1
Chiggy 3-2

Updates will be provided throughout the season.

Currently Half my team is out Odom, Brand, Wade and I am in last place. But my mind right now can only think of the following joke:

(In the voice of a black football player) It’s the playoffs, Baby! It’s the playoffs, Baby! You win, You move on. You lose, you go home. That’s what the playoffs is about. Who doesn’t want to go home the most!

(Nerdy Black comedian) Well Sir, I am not too sure about that, What would happen in a football game between abused children and the Oakland raiders? I am pretty sure the abused children really don’t want to go home more than the Raiders. Do you think they could beat the Oakland Raiders?

That was very tangential, however I think my point was I don’t want to go home to most.

NBA PREVIEW PART III

Shaq’s 5th Title

Today was a terrible day. Espn ran multiple articles outlining the demise of the diesel. There is only one problem with that Shaq has one more title in him. I had mentioned in the fantasy article he is currently playing rope-a-dope. I believe this to be true. However I don’t believe this will be the year. I am planning on moving to the MIA next year to witness the next Heat championship. Ideally Shaq would win his finally championship in two years and retire on top. Why do I have such a strong belief that Shaq will win another championship? He has the heart of a champion and the champion know how. Wade is a premier player and they will focus on building a team around the two of them to prior to Shaq’s retirement.