Honey Bunches of Oats

Honey Bunches of Oats now has a Chocolate Chip Flavor.


Enough said.

Recapping the debates, primaries…

So it’s that season again; the one where pundits and bloggers, and any idiot with a computer or access to some kind of medium will clutter the universe with more unnecessary bullshit regarding the state of American politics. With this in mind, here I am to recap the past week in politics for you all. Let’s start with the Republicans.

At the first major political event for the next season, the Iowa Caucus, two candidates were frontrunners from the beginning. Arkansas Senator Mike Huckabee held a slight lead over Massachusetts flip-flopper Mitt Romney. The rest of the candidates showed little consideration for this caucus, it being only the first of many. Rudy didn’t even go to Iowa. McCain put most of his focus into New Hampshire. I’m not sure Fred Thompson and Ron Paul are there for any other reason then to piss off Mitt Romney. In the end, this was the case: Huckabee won and Mitt, who finished second, was left to go fix his hair. Surprisingly, however, were the finishes of Fred Thompson (third) and Rudy Giuliani (sixth). Thompson who has been a dark horse candidate since he announced his intent, was given an unexpected amount of support, especially since McCain and Giuliani have at different points been considered frontrunners. This result demonstrated that this is going to be a closer race than most suspect.

At the Facebook Debates last Saturday night (1-night, 2 Parties, how fucking cheezy really), the Republicans started off with a bang, and then slowly followed with each candidate reiterating their stagnant and unwaveringly crappy responses we’ve all already heard and seen before. To recap:

No candidate agrees with any other on the topic of immigration reform. As soon as one candidate opened their mouth, someone else was there to argue them down. Nobody likes the war, but the debate kept on to how each candidate would continue to fight it. Most of them agreed that America has a great Health Care system which leads me to believe that in their heads they cannot distinguish between "Health Care" and "good doctors". The problem now is that we have good doctors, but not everyone can reach them. Thats the problem that they neglected through and through (except Ron Paul who turned the topic to the war, for some reason).

Each candidate showed tonight they all have some kind of skeleton hanging in their closet that separates them from what seems to be the true goals of the party. Fred Thompson, who has been unofficially declared the winner, has been deemed to not care enough about running or being interested in the party. However, his skills as a debater and public speaker (not to mention his hot hot wife Jeri) were enough to keep him in the race after tonight. Ron Paul continues to sway everything to the war because his winning viewpoint, to American politics at this point, is that he was anti-war from the start. Still he’s a creepy libertarian who favors some form of the gold-silver standard that William Jennings Bryan tried to push in 1896. Like Jennings Bryan, Paul will never be the president. Huckabee has had some difficulty when it came to issues pertaining to the war. He has been inconsistent on this topic in recent weeks and will need to “rethink” his strategy again. In his defense, Huckabee has an uncanny ability to talk to the common man. He may not even answer the questions directed at him half the time, but wow does he get your attention. I think its due to his unique way of oversimplifying the problems. After a question is posed he'll say quite simply what we need to do and add a “God” or “Jesus” or two for good measure, and the audience is captivated. He may not ever even propose a solution to any problem they pose to him, but dammit does he look good telling us that we in fact do need a solution. Giuliani did pretty well tonight as well, except he constantly reminds viewers where he was on 9-11. I was in NY during that time, and trust me, the guy did a great job, but stop bringing it up. Really, Rudy’s a smart guy, but he makes himself so aggravating and one-dimensional with this crap. McCain, though heavily favored in this state, didn’t show too much interest. He didn’t really lose any ground, but this being a huge medium; you’d expect him to be a bit livelier. Romney’s malfunction would be that he flip-flops and was once a pro-choice guy. Also he’s a creepy Mormon that nobody likes. My favorite point in the debate was when Mitt said “Oh no, I like mandates,” and Fred Thompson pounced, saying “I didn’t think you’d admit that tonight.” This gay joke got a high-five from Ron Paul, and it was approved by anyone in America watching who is A) a dude B) a cool chick or C) not gay, and even then I’m sure a few of them laughed too. In all, this showed that there is no real favorite in this race, but it reaffirmed what we all knew: everyone hates on Mitt Romney, and not to victimize him because he deserves most of it. Also, leave it to a bunch of middle-aged white conservative men to be catty with each other and totally disrespectful. I'm waiting for a slap fight to break out at the next debate, because then more of America would watch.

The NH primary proved to be another mountain for Romney to climb as McCain won handedly. This was the second time that Romney was a projected winner and finished in a distant second place. Huckabee, who had some difficulty at the debate finished in third, solidifying his position as a frontrunner in the race. Oh yeah, some people in NH also voted for Thompson, Paul, and Giuliani, but not enough for me to give a damn to write about.

Now, onto the Democrats:

Two weeks ago, everything was crystal clear for the Big D’s. Hillary has the nomination, Obama and Edwards would follow close behind. Richardson is the loveable goof, but Biden and Dodd would prove to be worthy adversaries. Kucinich shang hai's some kids at the end of a rainbow with the promise of gold. Then Iowa happened. Despite being slightly behind in the polls, Obama swept Iowa out from under Hillary. Not only did Hillary not win though, she finished third, behind John Edwards. This put a spin on the entire Democratic race because the favorite to win the nomination for the past four years now has tremendous doubts following her. In addition, by their poor showings, Joe Biden, Chris Dodd, and Bill Richardson all conceded the race to these top three. Kucinich continues to prove that he is the democrats’ Ron Paul, and nobody will ever really care what he has to say. (damned leprechaun)

The New Hampshire debates proved to be more interesting. Having been narrowed down to 3 frontrunners, it was amazing that Bill Richardson even showed up. In addition between shots of his wife and Chelsea Clinton, this was not a very attractive debate to watch. Richardson remained steadfast with his position that he has the most experience with foreign nations. I, in turn, would love to know firsthand, how much of the New Mexico Governor’s recent experience is with foreign nations not named Mexico. (note: He was formerly a Bill Clinton appointed ambassador to the UN and worked on issues in the middle east…11 years ago) Hillary started off strong attacking Obama saying he changed his opinion on several issues (Pakistan and healthcare) and Edwards made himself even tougher to read on a few positions. He also might be working towards making the Democratic party the American Worker's party, because everything he says is about the middle class. Obama defended his choice for covering children in his plan for healthcare and said that some of Hillary’s workers were distorting his record. At this point it was made very clear that they had had enough of the bitch. (I’ll discuss this dynamic later on) I feel like after this, all the candidates were backed into a corner and forced to “rethink” (sic: lie and change their minds) about certain topics (the surge in Iraq being effective, Bush politics, etc) Then, in the worst debate topic forum in history, each candidate was asked questions directed towards them. Hillary was asked why America thought Obama and Edwards were more likable then her to which she responded, “oh, now that hurts my feelings” (don’t get cute in politics, you twit) Obama reiterated his disdain for her by coldly remarking that “[she’s] likeable enough.” The question that followed for Obama regarded the Republican candidates opinion of him, to which he responded that he didn’t pay too much attention to their debate because of the football game. (way to go Rockstar, but seriously that’s your competition there) The debate continued with Richardson insisting he was more experienced, Obama and Edwards began to collaborate in favor of the middle class against Hillary, and Hillary, though winning the first half the debate, was beaten down by Obama and Blinky. (seriously for those who have never seen Edwards talk on screen its so disconcerting. The guy blinks 300 times a minute and plays with his tounge in his mouth. Good guy, but creepy as fuck) In the end, Obama seemed to win because like Huckabee, even though many things he said may have been wrong or severely simplified, people wanted to hear him speak and he had a better following than any other candidate in the end. That being said he wins NH easy, right?

Wrong, and here’s why. I told you I would discuss this dynamic earlier, so now I will because it pisses me off. Hillary took her licks in the debate and in Iowa. This is quite clear. However, at the point in the debate when she gave that cutesy “hurts my feelings” remark, I knew she was up to some shit. The day before the Primary, she was seen crying on film at a coffee house in NH to a bunch of women about “how much she really cares about the country and how hard it is...” blah blah blah. Stop fucking whining. This is the same woman who voted for the war. This leads me to believe that she is a perpetual politician and full of shit. I’m not saying the others are that great, but fuck that, Hillary. Her vote for the war now tells me she just wanted to show American she would have the balls to do it if/when the time comes. That’s fine, play that dynamic. It worked for other asexual, possible men, like Margaret Thatcher. Be an “iron lady”. But no, Hillary realized she was losing favor in the polls because Obama is too dreamy and stealing the female vote with other pretty boy Edwards(where are your balls now, hilldog?) So she cries in front of a group of women. This was the most convincing argument to me that women’s tears are stronger than acid. (thank you Maureen Dowd for that gem) So basically, the primary went as follows. Hillary (39%) beats Obama (36%) who beats his soon to be named VP, Edwards (17%). The vaginal sympathy vote wins.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not sexist, I fully support any woman who wants to run for President, but at this point I feel like Hillary is weak and manipulative, and she just pisses me off. Also Bill Richardson has resigned from the race again, that big girl.

Also, stop mentioning Natalie Sarkisian. This poor girl died because they waited too long for a transplant, and Democrats, Edwards especially, have been touting this girl like a bloody flag. I understand their views for new forms of health care, but I'm sure this girl would not want to be strung along like this. Its getting to be sickening. Knock it off!

Now what this means is that the next 3 weeks up until after Super Duper Tuesday, there will be even more of a media shitstorm clogging up everything in the nation. So until my next post, let’s all just hope Bloomberg decides to run.

Cheers!

Top 5 Losses of the year

5. OSU over Nebraska - Worst Nebraska loss in 49 years at home, in front of the 1997 NCAA Championship squad. This is the same OSU team whose coach went ballistic on a reporter for criticizing their QB.

4. Virginia over U-Miami – This was tough to watch. At their last game at the Orange Bowl, the U sucked it up against a surprising, but largely questionalble UVA team.

3. Pitt over WVU – WVU poised for its first national title bout, chokes to Pitt who has….well who do they have? I know they have Dan Wannstedt, but what the hell WVU?

2. Stanford over USC – The end of the first Pete Carroll dynasty as USC loses its first home game in 35. I’m a pretty big Trojans fan, but this was hard to swallow. Its ok though. Look for them to start out next year as either #1 or #2.

1. Appalachian St. over Michigan- Nothing will ever top this…ever. This set the stage for the entire season. This cost Lloyd Carr his job. This killed the Michigan program’s overwhelming and unwarranted pride. The Big 10 sucks and will always be overrated. Michigan football personifies this.

BCS postseason thoughts:

1. They need a playoff. For once, I will support something that comes out of Georgia. Hours after LSU lifted their 2^nd BCS title trophy, UGA proposed a system that would have an 8 team playoff. I like this idea only because the BCS produces some of the most lopsided games this season. OSU got blown out, but managed to salvage some pride in the final seconds to LSU. Illinois shouldn’t have even been a BCS team, getting destroyed by USC. Same thing to Hawaii who was handled by UGA. While I do agree with this, I am even more excited with the prospect of more college football. J
2. Michigan will not be the same team next year, by any stretch of the imagination. Star Running back, O-Lineman, OLB, two wide outs, graduating senior QB Chad Henne, and the transfer of QB to be Ryan Mallett (6’7” Blue Chipper who’s leaving for Tennessee) Rich Rodriguez doesn’t have a QB yet for this new spread system that he will implement there, but look for him to push for Terrelle Pryor, a 6’6” 235 5 star recruit. In my degenerate gambler phase, I tried to put money on his team in the Army All American HS football game, which he won, but alas, the website I bet on didn’t have that.
3. Pete Carroll will not leave USC. Another website I check has him staying/leaving at 90/10. I think it’s less than that. Still, if Carroll does vie a move for the NFL look for him to want full control over a contender (Skins) as opposed to a complete rebuild at Atlanta. In all I think its all a bunch of overhyped speculation. Who would want to leave USC? You have a consistent talent class that is among the top in the nation. You’re in beautiful Southern California. You are the winningest football coach in college right now. Stay there Pete, bring Ole’ SC a few more championships before you reconsider the pros.
4. The Big 10 is overrated and will probably stay that way. Also OSU fans are among the most unbearable on the planet. I’ve spent time in Ohio (not even around Columbus) and though devout conservative Christians, these people would swear Jesus wore a sweater vest. Also there’s this guy. ‘nuff said.

Letsgotosmokes, The league, Update part II

In case you missed the introduction to our Fantasy League you can find that article here.

2008 opened with a BANG. 2008 the year of FUN and it started off excellently.

January 1, 2008: I woke up at 3 am in the home of Prolific, texted an assortment of people on the west coast and got ready to begin the trip. We would spend the entire day traveling to Richmond and miss the entire day of bowl games (Fight on!). Prior to heading out, I went online to check out the fantasy results of the past week. If you remember a while back when I wrote the first article on the league I was in last place and was in the process of being beaten badly. Two weeks in and all looked lost for War KG.

12th out of 12 players, terrible!

This bright dawn I checked out the rankings and War KG had risen to 1st Place! I couldn’t believe how the tables had turned; I promptly wrote a taunting message on the message board and proceed on with the trip.

Flashback to San Francisco and Orange County,

If you remember my initial article on the league I had not met a couple of the players in our league. Double Deuce had invited me (Tuesday) to visit him in San Francisco and I gladly accepted. In San Francisco I did not know what to expect, but what I did not except was to meet, Meatspin and Benzo. If you remember Meatspin was my mortal enemy and my goal for this league was to make sure I beat his team (Currently War KG 1 Meatspin 0). He was a super nice guy and I decided that I would forgo my grudge and find some other motivation to dominate our league. Meeting Benzo was also a treat, he called me War KG the whole time (as I called meatspin, “meatspin”) and he constantly discussed fantasy and trades with me. He then invited me to his Christmas party in Orange County. The next week at his party, I was privileged enough to meet EMOB, who also turned out to be a nice guy. I was still lacking the required motivation/ nemesis to turn up my fantasy juices.

Currently the top 6 teams in the standings are,

Meatspin (Currently War KG 1 Meatspin 0)
Warriors (Jron) (Currently War KG 0 Warriors 1)
War KG
GreatBenzoGhost (Currently War KG 1 Benzo 0)
MasteroftheUniverse (JW) (Playing this week)
Renaldo for MVP (Currently War KG 1 Renaldo 0)

This is pretty consistent with what I expected, and I can’t wait until the playoffs. Wade and LO are back and my team has only lost once since they have been back. I was still looking for a nemesis until JW decided to blow up my gmail

His consistent trash talking inspired the following idea

My idea,

When I win this league I will go out of my way to buy a WWE championship belt. Hopefully I can engrave LetsgotoSmokes champ on it, and then I will force each and every member to buy me drinks all night if I wear it out with them.

So if you see me walking around with a LGTS League championship belt feel free to buy me a drink.

That Guy

There are moments in your life when you realize you are witnessing history. October 15, 2007 was one of those days. While multitasking at my desk, I was introduced to Softball Guy and quickly made a note to im Prolific about it.

“That just happened!” I exclaimed.

I then went out of my way to download and forward the rant to Prolific, JW, Smoke’s Girl and Double Deuce. This spawned the creation of numerous hypothetical “guys” that we had all encountered in our life. Finance Guy, Law School Guy etc, Then the trip happened.

Needless to say we met many “guys” on our trip. Prolific will detail the characteristics of each “guy” in the following days.

Prepare to meet,

Fake Angry Guy
Real Angry Guy
Annoying Black Woman (Guy)
Annoying Giants Fan (Guy)


Enjoy!

Note if you want the full version of softball guy please let me know by commenting on the blog.

The Trip

The trip has been completed. Noe and I will be constantly updating the blog with a recap of our exploits. I will begin with the end in mind.

Starting off, I would like to pontificate about future trips;

Alaska cruise? Vegas? LA? GEM Reunion Party?

Needless to say I will be heavily involved in the planning of all subsequent trips (playing it by ear)

Next I would like to acknowledge some individuals who allowed to the trip to be possible.

E. Valdez, Carlos, Asian Couple, Ani, Badu, Dome, Mr. & Mrs. Shawala, Emo, Albert, Ernie, Jess etc.

Special Thanks to Sr. Burgos, Luz, Mo NA, Joey and Lincoln.

Finally the trip would not have been possible without my road trip mates Prolific and P$